ʻĀ, Pōʻalima ka Pōʻalima 13 a ʻo Pōʻaono ka lā Valentine, no laila manaʻo wau he leʻaleʻa paha ke nānā aku i kekahi o nā kāne maikaʻi a puni ka Friday ka 13th franchise. Nui a hewahewa nā mea maikaʻi, a me nā kuʻikuʻi maʻamau a me nā aloha aloha ʻole, akā ua hoʻopili wau iā ia i ʻumi o kaʻu mau kāne punahele.

ʻO ka mea hanohano iā Scott lāua ʻo Muffin o ka ʻāpana 2.

Kaha: Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe he kanaka e nānā nui ana i kēia mau kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, makemake paha ʻoe e neʻe.

10. ʻO Debora lāua ʻo Luke (Hele ʻo Jason i Kehena: ʻO ka Pōʻalima hope loa)

Nui ke aloha o Deborah lāua ʻo Luke a ʻoiai ʻo Luke e "ʻūlū i kāna pā," ʻaʻole hiki iā Deb ke hoʻokomo iā ia i loko o ke ʻeke. ʻAʻole nō ʻo ia i hāʻawi iki i kahi mea nui e pili ana i ka nui o ka inaina o Luka i ka condom a hauʻoli ʻo ia e waiho iā ia i loko o ka ʻaʻa ʻole me ka ʻole o ka hānau hānau. Aʻohe hopohopo. Ua pepehi ʻo Jason (i ke ʻano o ka loiloi ʻAmelika ʻAmelika) iā lāua ʻelua i kekahi o nā hiʻohiʻona kiʻi nui loa i ka franchise āpau ma mua o ka kanu ʻia ʻana o kā kā Luke mau hua.

9. ʻO Edna lāua ʻo Harold (Pōʻalima ka 13th Mahele 3)

He mau mea ʻē aʻe kā Edna lāua ʻo Harold i loko o ka Friday ka 13th franchise hana i. Ua male ʻia lākou no kekahi mau makahiki a lilo kekahi hale kūʻai maikaʻi i ka ʻāina. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ua loaʻa iā lākou kā lākou pilikia. ʻAi mau ʻo Harold i ka papa helu waiwai a me nā holoholona a puni nā huahana, akā manaʻo wau he aloha maoli kā kekahi i kekahi. Aia a pepehi ʻia lākou e ka poʻe kīnā ʻole o ka noʻonoʻo mea hoʻomake kino kanaka.

8. ʻO Vickie lāua ʻo Mark (Pōʻalima ka 13th Mahele 2)

ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole i ʻike ʻo Vickie a me Mark i kekahi i kekahi no ka manawa lōʻihi ma mua o ka hālāwai ʻana o kēlā me kēia i kā lākou make, akā i loko o kā lākou manawa pōkole pū, paʻi maoli lākou. Inā ʻaʻole lākou i kī ʻia e kahi kāne i loko o kahi ʻeke, manaʻo wau e ʻakaʻaka loa ko lākou wā e hiki mai ana. Makemake wau ua akāka loa ia i ka manawa i loli ai ʻo Vickie i loko o kona mau pulu huluhulu kolohe ʻo Mark ka mea, a ʻaʻohe pilikia o kona hemahema i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe.

7. ʻO Jake lāua ʻo Robin (Pōʻalima ka 13th: kahi hoʻomaka hou)

Minamina, ʻo Jake lāua ʻo Robin he mau kāne wale nō i ka manaʻo o Jake. Nānā ʻole i ke ʻano aloha a lākou e noho nei (ke nānā nei i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ma ka moe o ka hapalua hale), ʻaʻole hoihoi ʻo Robin i ka wā a Jake i hoʻolaha ai e makemake maoli ʻo ia e aloha iā ia. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻakaʻaka ʻo ia i kona alo, no laila hele maoli ʻo ia e ʻike i ka mea a Violet e hana nei. ʻOiai ʻo nā mea ʻekolu e hiki ʻole ke pepehi ʻia e kahi paramedic hilahila ʻole, maopopo leʻa ua mihi ʻo Robin i kāna hana i mua o Jake, a makemake wau e manaʻo ua pau pū lāua. Pehea e hiki ai i kekahi ke pale aku i ka leʻaleʻa o Jake ma mua o aʻu.

6. Cort lāua ʻo Nikki (Noho ʻo Jason: Pōʻalima ka 13th Mahele VI)

He pilina ikaika a ola ko Cort lāua ʻo Nikki. ʻOiai e hana ana i ke aloha aloha aloha, ua koi ʻo Nikki iā Cort e ejaculate a hiki i ka pau ʻana o kāna mele punahele. Minamina ʻo Cort i puhi iā ia, me ka manaʻo ua pau ke mele (a i ʻole pēlā ʻo ia i ʻōlelo ai. E wahaheʻe paha ʻo Cort?). Akā ʻaʻole i kū ke aloha ma laila. ʻOiai ua pepehi ʻia ʻo Nikki e kahi zombie nui i loko o ka lua, ua manaʻo ʻo Cort e hele ana ʻo ia i ka helu 2, a ua hōʻike ʻo ia i kona hoihoi i "ka hopu ʻana i ka peek a i ʻole ka hope." ʻOiai ke kuʻi nei iā Alice Cooper's Teenage Frankenstein, ʻoiaʻiʻo. Ma ka hope ʻaʻole hiki ke kāʻili ʻia kahi peek. ʻAʻole hoʻi i hiki ke kiʻi ʻia i kahi kāʻili.

5. ʻO Tommy lāua ʻo Megan (Noho ʻo Jason: Pōʻalima ka 13th Mahele VI)

In ʻO ka Mokuna Hope, ʻO Tommy Jarvis wale nō kāu keiki awelika me ka pīhoihoi i ka manawa mua i ʻike ai ʻo ia i nā kaikamahine ʻōlohelohe. Ua akāka loa kēia pīhoihoi mai ke ala o kona lele ʻana i luna o kona wahi moe me ka nānā ʻana aku i nā ipo ipo ma ka ʻīpuka ma mua o ka hiki ʻana mai o kona makuahine a hōʻino i kona pō, me ka ʻole o ka hoihoi āna i kaʻana like ai me kona kaikuahine no kēlā "ʻeke patootsies" ʻo ia i ʻike ʻia ma ka loko.

Ma hope o ka luku ʻana o Jason Voorhees i kona ola, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i hoihoi i nā pilina a hiki i nā makahiki he nui ma hope ke hui ʻo ia me ke kaikamahine a ka sheriff ʻo Megan. He lā hihiu loa kā lākou, e ʻōlelo i ka mea liʻiliʻi, ʻaʻole i hoʻopili wale i ka ʻimi ʻana i kahi zombie nui, a me ka pepehi kanaka, akā ʻo ke kaʻa wikiwiki hoʻi e alualu me nā huli "huluhulu". Minamina, ʻo kēia ka manawa hope loa a māua e hui pū ai me Tommy a me Megan, no laila, e manaʻo wau ua noho lāua i kahi ola nani, manuahi ʻole ʻo Jason me ka hoʻohuli ʻana o ke kanaka nunui i nā ʻenemi nui e like me ke kaikamahine telekinetic, ʻo Freddy Krueger , etc. Ua haʻi mai kekahi mea iaʻu e ʻeha mau ana ʻo Tommy iā PTSD.

4. Robbie lāua ʻo Axel (Pōʻalima ka 13th: ʻO ka Mokuna Hope)

ʻO Axel he kāne kū i luna, e ʻai ana i nā sanewika i ka hale make a e waiho ana i kāna meaʻai i nā kupapaʻu ma waena o ka hana ʻana i nā mea hoʻohenehene a ka nephropilia, e waiho ana a e nānā ana i nā wikiō aerobics ma waena o nā autopsies. Maʻalahi e hoʻomaopopo i ke kumu i hiki ʻole ai i ka kahu hānai ʻo Robbie (Roberta) ke pale aku i ka leʻaleʻa o ka "Super Bowl of Self Abuse". Minamina ʻike iki kāua i ka mea aʻu e ʻike nei he pilina i wehewehe i ke aloha, akā maopopo ʻole nā ​​kino make i hōʻino ʻole i ke ʻano ke hele mai i ke kuko ma waena o kēia mau aloha aloha ʻelua.

3. Billy lāua ʻo Lana (Pōʻalima ka 13th: kahi hoʻomaka hou)

ʻO Billy lāua ʻo Lana nā hui pāʻina hope loa a makemake nā poʻe āpau i ke kaona e pili pū. Ua loaʻa iā Billy ka cocaine, a ua mākaukau ʻo Lana e kīkī i kona mau umauma no kekahi kumu a i ʻole ʻē aʻe, no laila ke hiʻohiʻona e wehe ai ʻo ia i kona pālule i ke aniani, a ʻōlelo, "ʻO Showtime kēia!" Mai ke kani o ia, kahi pāʻina o ʻO Bob Morton Ua mālama ʻia nā māhele no ke ahiahi a hiki i ka hoʻoholo ʻana o Roy e pepehi iā lākou no kekahi kumu i koe he mea pohihihi iaʻu.

2. Andy lāua ʻo Debbie (Pōʻalima ka 13th Mahele 3)

ʻO kēia kahi o nā kāne liʻiliʻi mai ka franchise i aloha nui ʻia, e hānau pū lāua i kahi keiki. ʻO Andy ke kāne ʻoluʻolu i hiki ke juggle, hele ma kona mau lima a hoʻokuʻu i kahi yo-yo i ka maka o kāna ipo wahine hāpai. Makemake ʻo Debbie e heluhelu iā Fangoria, kūʻē ʻo ia iā ʻoe i kona mau maka, a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o nā mea a Andy e hana ai me kona mau lima ma mua o ka juggle. Inā ʻaʻole ʻo Jason i hoʻokaʻawale iā Andy i ka hapalua a hou iā ia ma hope o ka hūnā ʻana ma lalo o kahi hama, e luku ana i ka makuahine ʻōpio a me kāna keiki hānau ʻole.

Wow, he keikikāne maoli ʻo Jason ma ka ʻāpana 3, me ka pākana, ka ʻai kanaka, a me ka pepehi kanaka keiki ʻole i hānau ʻia.

1. ʻO Anita lāua ʻo Demona (Pōʻalima ka 13th: kahi hoʻomaka hou)

ʻO ka mea hope loa, loaʻa iā mākou kaʻu kāne punahele ma nā mea āpau Friday ka 13th. Ua hoʻolilo kēia mau mea i ko lāua manawa e kau i loko o kahi kaʻaahi, e ʻai ana i nā enchilada, a me ka hele ʻana a puni i nā shithouses. ʻOiai ʻo Demon i hele mai ma ke ʻano he wahine wahine maikaʻi ʻole me nā ʻōlelo e like me "You get get it bitch!" ʻIke wau e like me ka kemika ma waena o lākou i ʻōlelo ai e hoʻomākeʻaka wale ana ʻo ia a aia ʻo ia i ka mea hoʻomākeʻaka. Ua ʻike ʻo ia e ʻoi aku kona maikaʻi ma hope o kona shit (e like me ka mea i hōʻike ʻia e ka laina, "E hoʻomālamalama, e daimonio. E ʻoi aku kou manaʻo ma hope o kou shit.")

ʻO kēia mau mea ʻelua ke kuleana o ka manawa nani i kaʻana like ʻia ma waena o nā ipo ʻelua ma loko o ka franchise holoʻokoʻa ke hīmeni lākou iā "Oooh pēpē, pēpē ooh, pēpē ooh, hey pēpē" kekahi i kekahi (ma o nā paia o kahi shithouse).

Inā ʻaʻole ia e ʻōlelo i ke aloha, ʻaʻole maopopo iaʻu ka mea hana.