I ka hoʻolauna ʻana o Secure-Tronics i ka series Protector 101 o nā lopako palekana ma ka pā hale ʻo Park Plaza i ka makahiki 1986, ua hana lākou i hoʻokahi ʻōlelo maʻalahi - "ʻAʻohe mea i hewa.

Ua pololei ʻole lākou.

Eia nō naʻe, ua hoʻokuʻu ʻia kēlā ʻano manaʻo i kahi hoʻokolohua Radio Shack i maikaʻi ʻole. ʻO nā bots ka mea e hiki ke hana inā Johnny 5 a me ED-209 i hana i kahi aloha droid i kāpīpī ʻia me nā mākau blaster o kahi stormtrooper.

ʻ,, ka leʻaleʻa i loaʻa ma ke ʻano he hopena.

Eia nā ʻelima o nā hiʻohiʻona maikaʻi loa a Jim Wynorski's Kāleʻa Kūʻai.

WALTER PAISLEY

ʻO Dick Miller ia. E maoli kākou, ʻaʻole pono ka wehewehe hou ʻana, akā e hana nō mākou. ʻO kekahi o nā mea hana keaka ʻoi loa o ka manawa holoʻokoʻa, ua kapa ʻia ʻo Miller he "hoʻomākeʻaka nui" na ʻO Roger Corman, ʻo wai ka mea i male ʻia Kāleʻa Kūʻai mea hana Julie Corman.

Ma ke ʻano he mea mālama hale kūʻai mall, ua hele ka inoa o Miller i kahi inoa a mākou i ʻike nui ai i nā makahiki i hala aku nei a ʻo ia kāna ʻano maʻamau, ma ka papakaumaka. Cranky, paʻakikī, hoʻomākeʻaka a hoʻomākeʻaka. I ka kīkē ʻana o kekahi o nā Go-Bots ma luna o kāna bākeke wai ua hoʻoweliweli ʻo ia e hoʻolilo iā ia i mea hao ma mua o ka palupalu ʻana e hōʻike i kāna ID. Ke holo pono ʻole a wikiwiki paha e like me kāna i manaʻo ai, ua hoʻāʻo ʻo Miller e hoʻokuʻu i ka hāmare me kahi paʻa mop ma mua o ka loaʻa ʻana i kukeʻia.

ʻO ka wikiwiki loa, ʻoiai ʻaʻohe mea e pili ai i kekahi mea, akā i kahi pana kahi a Miller e kamaʻilio pū ana me kekahi o kona mau kaupaona, hiki ke ʻike ʻia kahi hale kūʻai ma hope i kapa ʻia ʻo Slavick's Jewelers. I kēia manawa, ʻekolu mau makahiki kēia ma mua o ka hōʻike ʻana o Miller i kāna hōʻole no nā cul-de-sacs, akā ʻaʻole hiki i kekahi ke ʻoki akāka e ʻakaʻaka loa mākou i kahi ʻano pilina e pili ana iā mākou. ʻO ka 'Burbs, no ka mea, maopopo iā mākou āpau ʻaʻole ʻo Miller ke keiki kāne a Corman wale nō, akā ʻo Joe Dante pū kekahi.

KAHUʻOHU I OLELO 'EM, YEAH

ʻAe, no laila he kuhikuhi ia mai ke kumu 'O ka lā i kū ai ka Honua, akā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke aloha akā aloha i ka manawa. Maopopo iaʻu ke ʻakaʻaka mai ka pepeiao a pepeiao i kēlā me kēia manawa ke lohe wau. ʻO Mike Brennan (John Terlesky) ka prototypical '80s beefcake - ka lauoho nui, nā mākala nui, ka minoʻaka nui, ka champing gum a me ka noʻonoʻo hoʻokahi ala. Eia nō naʻe, i ka manawa a Leslie Tood (Suzee Slater) i noi aku ai iā ia e hele hewa e kiʻi i nā puhi post-coital mai ka mīkini uahi (ahhh, nā '80s), ua kūʻē ʻo ia me kekahi o nā huhū huhū a he manawa maʻamau wale nō ia. . Ua hāʻawi ʻo ia i kāna ID no ka scan, akā ma mua o ka huki ʻana ua haʻalele ʻo “Klaatu, verada, nikto. Maikaʻi? " Kikoo i kahi sci-fi kahiko a i hoʻohihi paha no ʻO Bruce campbell a ʻo Sam Raimi kā Poe kaua o ka pouli. Nānā ʻole, ʻaʻole ʻelemakule ia.

RICK, KEIKI KAHIKO. He aha kāu e hana ai me kāu ... ola?

Ke kānalua nei wau ua hala kekahi o ʻoukou i ka Friday ka 13th Part 2 kuhikuhi ma laila, akā e palekana wale nō, ʻaʻole hōʻike ʻo Russell Todd iā Rick Stanton ma Kāleʻa Kūʻai, akā ʻo Scott hoʻi i ka hopena mua o ka Camp Crystal Lake saga. Ua makua ʻo ia mai ka hoʻonāukiuki a me ke kī ʻana i nā maʻa ma Terry's derriere i ke ola male, akā ʻaʻole i mālama maikaʻi iā ia ke lawe ʻia kāna hapa maikaʻi e nā bots. ʻAno ʻoluʻolu, no ka mea ua hōʻoia ʻo Todd's Friday co-star ʻo Tom McBride ʻaʻole ʻo ia ke poʻo o kahi ʻoihana nui, a ua ukali ʻo Rick, e lele ana ma luna o kahi kaʻa lawe e like me Austin Powers no kahi huakaʻi he ʻelima kapuaʻi wale nō e uila ʻia me ka koke. Manaʻo wau ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke kū i ka manaʻo o ke ola me ka ʻole o kāna wahine.

TRIO HIKI

ʻAʻole kēia kāu kaikamahine weliweli i ke kula kiʻekiʻe. ʻAe, pēlā ʻO Barbara Crampton pāʻani i ka leʻaleʻa a me ka moekolohe i ka maikaʻi, akā e pili ana i ka manawa Ua nalowale ke poʻo o Leslie, Ua hele ʻo Crampton mai ka hopena hohonu.

Eia nō naʻe, ʻo Linda Stanton (Karrie Emerson) kahi mea ʻē aʻe akā ʻo ke kīloi wahine wahine kīloi wale nō kāna mea e koi ai e hōʻike i kona umauma a make i kahi make hoʻomanaʻo ʻole. ʻAʻole, ua mākaukau ʻo Linda a noʻonoʻo i kona mau wāwae. Ua hoʻopaʻa ʻo ia i kāna kalaka ke hiki ʻole i kāna kāne a aʻo i nā wahine ʻē aʻe i ka hana ʻana i kekahi mau moloka Molotov bombastic i ka hale kūʻai lako paʻa. He kaikamahine maikaʻi paha kā Linda i hana ai.

Inā ʻaʻole na Alison Parks (Kelli Maroney). ʻOiai ʻoiaʻiʻo ke ʻano kānalua nei kāna ʻano e hele i ka pāʻina hale kūʻai lako, ua manaʻo ʻo ia i kahi pilina me Ferdy (Tony O'Dell) a ua ʻae ʻo ia i ka mea kupaianaha bespectacled e hiki i ke kahua mua i kahi momona, ʻo Stacy Hamilton / Mark Ratner, Nā manawa wikiwiki manawa Eia naʻe, ʻaʻole nalowale kāna kihi. ʻO wau e ʻōlelo, he keiki ʻo ia no ka Moana. ʻAʻole wale ʻo ia ʻo Steph Curry o nā kaikamahine hope loa, ua kūpono loa ia e hoʻokuʻu iā Schwarzenegger-level, "Lā maikaʻi iā 'oe" hoʻokahi liner ma mua o ka puhi ʻana i ka bot hope loa i nā bits ma ka Sherman Oaks Galleria, ke kūʻai like like kahi e nānā ai nā Commando i paʻi ʻia.

Kiʻi maikaʻi.

ʻO PECKINPAH'S!

Hōʻike mai mua: Ua hopohopo ʻo Ferdy.

Kupaianaha wale nā ​​mea āpau e pili ana i kēia hanana. Hoʻoholo nā keikikāne e pono lākou e hana i ke kū a poʻo i ka hale kūʻai waiwai no kekahi mea kaua. Mai Rambo-gram a i ke kāʻei kāʻei e hōʻike ana i kahi hui o nā ʻino maikaʻi ʻole, he kilokilo maʻemaʻe wale ia.

BONUS

Ma hope o ka heʻe ʻana o Alison i nā spider a me nā moʻo a hele aku i waho o ka hale kūʻai holoholona, ​​panni ʻia ka pahu paʻi kiʻi e hōʻike i ka inoa o ke kahua - ʻO Roger's Little Shop of Pets

Koko koko. Malamalama.

Kāleʻa Kūʻai ua lako pono me nā manawa hoʻomanaʻo ʻole, no laila e ʻoluʻolu mai hoʻohilahila a kaʻana like i kāu i nā ʻāpana ʻōlelo ma lalo nei.