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Retro Rewind: Hauʻoli Lā Hānau ʻO Gary Busey- Ke kāne, ka Myth, ka Werewolf Wrangler

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Kākau ʻia na Patti Pauley

Hoʻi i ka ʻole o ka makahiki ʻehā o ka makahiki, hele mai kahi hero ʻole i koʻu honua. He leʻaleʻa ʻo ia, nānā ma kahi o ʻumi kapuaʻi ke kiʻekiʻe ma ka pakuhi (i koʻu mau makahiki ʻehā mau makahiki) a he mau pōpō kila kāna i ka wā e hakakā ai kahi wīwī maka maka hoʻokahi. ʻO kaʻu mau hoaaloha, ʻo ia ke kāne, ka moʻo kaʻao, ʻo ka bipi kāne ʻole no ka lawe ʻana iā Gary Busey a i kēia lā kona lā hānau.

 

 

Ma kahi o 1986, a paʻa koʻu mau mākua a me koʻu mau kūpuna i ka lumi o ko mākou keʻena e nānā ana i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ua haʻi pinepine ʻia wau ʻaʻole wau e ʻae ʻia e ʻike me lākou. ʻOiaʻiʻo, he aha ka makahiki 4 e hoʻolohe ai, ʻeā? Ua hoʻomau wau me ka hele ʻana i mua a ma waho mai ke alaloa a i kahi e noho ai e ʻike i kēia ʻike i pāpā ʻia ma kā mākou kīwī pahu pahu a hiki i ka wā i hāʻawi aku ai kaʻu mea hānai a kahi makuakāne a noho ma kona ʻaoʻao pono ma kā mākou moena kala. ʻO ia ka manawa ua ʻike wau ua ʻāpiki wau; no ka manawa pōkole ma ka liʻiliʻi.

ʻO ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni i nīnau ʻia ʻO Bullet Silver o Stephen King a ʻoiai he keiki paʻakikī nui wau e ulu nei i kahi ʻohana aloha weliweli, Palena kālā makaʻu i ka huhū aloha mau loa mai iaʻu. I koʻu ʻoluʻolu ʻana me kaʻu pola popcorn liʻiliʻi, ua ʻike ʻia ke kahua kahi e lele ai ka werewolf ma ka puka aniani o kahi Stella Randolph a pīhoihoi wau a makaʻu hoʻi ma mua o ka maopopo ʻole. ʻOiai, ua kau wau i koʻu alo wiwo ʻole a paʻakikī i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni no ka mea ʻo goddammit, ua noi wau i kēia. A e hōʻoia ana wau i nā anakuhi makua hiki iaʻu ke lawelawe i kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. Akā i loko maoli e līlū nei wau i koʻu lole wāwae Eia nō naʻe, hoʻokahi mea i maʻalahi ka maʻalahi o ka ʻike holoʻokoʻa no kaʻu iho hoʻoweliweli loa: ʻO ʻAnakala ʻulaʻula.

ʻO ʻAnakala Red, hoʻokani ʻia e Sir Gary o Busey, lawelawe ma ke ʻano he koa a me ke kōkua komite i kēia moʻolelo o ka piha weliweli o ka mahina a ua ʻike wau iaʻu e ʻakaʻaka hysterically ana i kāna ʻano i kēlā me kēia manawa ke hōʻike ʻo ia ma ka pakuhi me kāna wit puʻupuʻu a me nā quips . ʻO kēlā ʻōlelo hoʻomakeʻaka Jack-Ass liʻiliʻi naʻaupō āna i haʻi aku ai iā Marty, ʻo ia ka mea leʻaleʻa nui loa aʻu i lohe ai i loko o kaʻu mau makahiki ʻehā ma ka Honua aʻu e haʻi aku nei iā ʻoe. A ma loko o ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ʻo Busey ʻano i lilo i ʻano ʻano Superhero ma koʻu mau maka. ʻO ia ke kanaka nāna i hāʻawi i kāna kaikamahine a me kāna moʻopuna i ke keu pono o ke kānalua ma ka ʻōlelo no ka mea ua hoʻokipa ʻo Tarkers Mills i kahi monster pepehi kanaka kolohe; a ua ʻike nā keiki ʻo wai ʻo ia ma lalo o nā hulu holoholona a pau. He kāne ʻōhū! He poka kālā kāna i hana ʻia no lākou, ʻoiai inā no ka ʻāpana o ka noʻonoʻo wale nō ia i kāna hana noʻonoʻo ponoʻī.

Ma ka hopena akā, me kēlā kūkulu honua i ka pō Halloween me ka mahina piha, ʻo Marty, Jane, a me ʻAnakala Red me kāna ke kau inoa lanakila o nā Mekanika Kaulana, kahi manawa e noho ai i ka infamy i ke kiʻi weliweli a i loko o kaʻu honua liʻiliʻi wili ke hele aku ʻo Uncle Red i mua me Reverend Werewolf. Aia wau ma ka lihi o koʻu noho. ʻO kēia ka hopena o Red? E hele aku ana anei kēia koa hou naʻu i mea kuʻi i nā mea hahau?

FUCK NO !! Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Gary Busey he manawa nunulu kēia a hākōkō i kahi werewolf E lawe wale i kēlā ʻōlelo hoʻopaʻi i hoʻokahi manawa hou. KAKAUIA O GARY BUSIA I WEREWOLF. Hoʻomaka ka kaila WWF me ka haki ʻana i ka noho ma hope o ka holoholona. ʻO ia ka hanana nui a hōʻike kuʻu meʻe koa hou i kēlā mau lauoho umauma o ke kila. He hanohano ia. ʻOi aku i kahi kanaka liʻiliʻi e like me aʻu e lele ana i luna a i lalo o ke aʻa no ka make ʻana o kēia weliweli ma ke ʻano he ʻīlio nunui. ʻO ia ka lā i lilo ai ʻo Gary Busey i hero ʻole i kaʻu puke.

Hauʻoli makahiki 73 piha ʻo Gary Busey! Ma kahi, e pīpī nei kekahi ma kahi paʻa o nā kāleka kinipōpō hīnaʻi Yankees, Phillies, a me nā ʻInia e hoʻolauleʻa ai.

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