ʻO ka lā hauʻoli o ka Makua, nā mea pā weliweli! ʻIke ʻoe, paʻakikī e hoʻoholo i ka mea e loaʻa i kahi rap ʻoi loa i nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni weliweli: ʻo Māmā a me Pāpā.

Mālama pū lāua i ka luʻu ʻana i ko lākou manamana wāwae i loko o ka loko psycho ke haʻi ʻole lākou i kā lākou keiki e noʻonoʻo wale nei lākou e iho mai ana kahi mea ʻino i ke kaiāulu – ʻoiai ʻo nā mākua ka mea nāna i hoʻokuʻu i ka ʻino e hoʻomaka. me.

Eia nō naʻe, no ka hoʻohanohano o ka lā nui, manaʻo mākou e hoʻomālamalama mākou i kekahi o kēlā mau makuakāne kiʻi ʻoniʻoni weliweli maikaʻi i kekahi manawa.

*** Ka leka a ka mea kākau: no ke kumu o kēia papa inoa, ke nānā nei mākou i nā makuakāne i hoʻāʻo maoli e hana i kahi mea maikaʻi, ʻoiai inā hele i ka hema ko lākou manaʻo maikaʻi. No kēlā kumu, ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻike, no ka laʻana, ka makua kāne bastard kahiko mai Pōkā ma kēia papa inoa. He hewa wale kēlā kāne mai ka hoʻomaka!

# 1 Ed Harley, Paukena

ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻino iā Ed Harley (ʻo Lance Henricksen leʻaleʻa mau loa) no ka makemake ʻana i kahi hoʻopaʻi iki i nā keiki nāna i pepehi kāna keiki, ʻoiaʻiʻo nō, a laila holo i kahi. ʻO wai ka makemake ʻole e ʻike iā lākou e uku?

Akā paha, ʻo ka hele paha i ka wahine kilokilo kahiko, ʻo Haggis (Florence Schauffler) a noi aku iā ia e wehe i ka ʻino loa ma luna o lākou.

Aʻole? Maliʻa paha?

No ka mea, ʻo ia ke ʻano makuakāne e hele a pau i kāna keiki, a ke makemake nei mākou iā Ed Makua Makua Makua Hauʻoli me kahi leka aloha i hoʻopili ʻia.

# 2 Lt. Thompson, Kahi moe moe ma ke alanui Elm 1 & 3

Hoʻomanaʻo i kēlā mau makuakāne e nānā wale i ka pilikia a koi aku ua loaʻa iā lākou nā mea āpau ma lalo o ka kaohi aʻu i ʻōlelo ai ma luna?

ʻO kā Nancy Thompson mākaʻi mākaʻi (John Sakona) kūlike i kēlā pila. Ua haʻi ʻo Nancy i kēlā kāne, inā inā ʻoe e hoʻomanaʻo he ʻāpana ia o ka poʻe kolohe e koi ana i kahi pono kaulike ma luna o Freddy Kreuger i kekahi manawa, i nā manawa he nui i ka manawa e hana nei, a hoʻolilo ʻo ia i ke koena o nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni mua e holo nei. ke hoʻāʻo nei e hopu i kahi ʻōpio.

ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu ... malia paha he paʻakikī loa ke nānā ʻana i kāu hana lepo ponoʻī i ka maka. Malia paha ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke piliwi i kahi mea kupanaha.

No ka mea ʻole, ua hōʻike ʻo Lt. Thompson i ke kiʻi ʻekolu a ua hoʻāʻo me ka wiwo ʻole e hana no kekahi o nā mea i iho i ke kaʻina mua a no laila manaʻo wau hiki iā mākou ke hāʻawi iā ia i kahi hōʻaiʻē liʻiliʻi.

Hauʻoli lā Makua, Lt. Thompson! Lana ka manaʻo e hiamoe maikaʻi ʻoe i ka pō.

# 3 Frank, 28 Na hope

I kēia manawa, ʻo Frank (Brendan Gleeson) ma aneʻi, he MVP i waena o nā makuakāne kiʻi ʻoniʻoni.

Ke lilo ka zombies huhū i ka ʻāina, ua pale ʻo ia iā ia iho a me kāna kaikamahine i loko o ko lākou keʻena, helu i kekahi mau hana hoʻopunipuni nani, a hoʻokipa iā Jim lāua ʻo Selena i loko o ko lāua hale paʻa liʻiliʻi e like me nā mea hanohano.

I ko lākou hele like ʻana e ʻimi i ka palekana o kahi puʻuhonua i manaʻo ʻia, pale ʻo Frank i kāna kaikamahine ʻo Hana, a hiki i kahi o kahi kulu koko e hoʻolilo iā ia iho i hoʻokahi o nā moʻo huhū a lākou e heʻe nei.

ʻO Poor Frank, he ala maikaʻi ʻole ia e hele, akā ʻano ʻoe mai ka manawa mua i hōʻike ʻo ia ma ka pakuhi ʻo ia i ka manawa hōʻaiʻē.

Hauʻoli lā Makua, Frank! ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hele i waho e like me kēlā!

# 4 ʻO Louis Creed, ʻO ka Sem Semary

ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻino iā Louis Creed (Dale Midkiff) no ka makemake e mālama pū i kona ʻohana.

E hele ana ʻo ia i kahi trauma nui ma hope o ka make ʻana o kāna keikikāne, a pono ʻoe e ʻae, inā ʻike ʻoe aia kekahi ala e hoʻihoʻi mai i kahi mea aloha e noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe iā ia.

ʻO wau iho, akā, manaʻo maoli wau he pilikia koʻikoʻi kāna me ka "hoʻoponopono ʻana i nā mea." ʻO wau e kū wau ma hope o kaʻu ʻike ʻana i ka mea i hana ʻia i ka wā i hoʻi mai ai ka pōpoki.

Minamina, ʻaʻole aʻo ʻo Louis i kāna haʻawina, a uku nui ʻo ia iā ia.

Hauʻoli lā Makua, Louis! E hana hou paha ʻoe i nā mea āpau?

# 5 ʻO Gabe Wilson, Us

ʻO nā mea āpau a Gabe Wilson (Winston Duke) e makemake ai e lawe i kona ʻohana i ka wā hoʻomaha kauwela maikaʻi i kahakai.

ʻO ia, ma nā ʻano he nui, ke kūʻai aku nei ka makuakāne bumbling i kahi moku nahā, e mele ana i loko o ke kaʻa, hoʻohilahila i kāna mau keiki, ʻaʻole hoʻolohe i kāna wahine ke haʻi ʻo ia i kahi mea hewa.

Eia nō naʻe, ke iho nā kīʻaha, piʻi i luna ʻo Gabe. ʻO kona manaʻo mua no kona ʻohana, a ʻoiai he ʻokoʻa ka manaʻo a me kāna wahine e pili ana i ka pale ʻana iā lākou, aia nō ʻo ia iā 100% a hiki i ka hopena.

Hauʻoli lā Makua, e Gabe! Ua ʻike ʻoe i kahi huna a kāu wahine?