E alo ia, ua ʻino ka 2016. Ma kahi o ka Pole ʻĀkau, e haʻi aku ana ʻo Santa Claus i ka Missus e hoʻi ʻo ia i ka hale i kēia ahiahi Kalikimaka. I kēia manawa, ma kahi hohonu o ka Black Forest o Kelemania, Krampus e hoʻomālamalama nei i kāna mau kaulahao a ʻokiʻoki i nā kuapo birch keu. E pono ʻo ia iā lākou. ʻO nā wahi ʻino loa o ke kanaka ke ʻano ke poʻo i ko lākou poʻo ʻino i kēia makahiki.

E alo ia i ka anti-Santa e hana ana i kēia makahiki. No laila, i ke kaila iHorror kūpono (hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i ka papa inoa o ka makahiki i hala), eia kaʻu mau mea i wae ʻia no ka 2016 Krampus List.

ʻO Heather Bresch lāua ʻo Big Pharma

I ka makahiki i hala, aia ʻo Pharma Bro. Manaʻo ʻoe e aʻo nā lobbies lāʻau lapaʻau a me nā CEO o nā ʻoihana lāʻau. Akā auē ʻaʻole! Ke piʻi mau nei nā kumukūʻai no ka lāʻau no kekahi kumu ʻē aʻe ma mua o kā lākou hiki. ʻO Heather Bresch. Ua lilo ka inoa o ia i mea like me ke kumukūʻai kūʻai lāʻau lapaʻau ma mua o kēia makahiki i ka wā i kūʻai aku ai ke kumukūʻai no kāna hui ʻo EpiPen, kahi mea hoʻopukapuka lāʻau hoʻopakele ola no ka poʻe me nā maʻi ʻino koʻikoʻi, mai ka $ 100 a ʻoi aku a ʻoi paha ma kahi o $ 600! Ua huhū nui ka lehulehu i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana o nā mākua e noʻonoʻo pehea lākou e uku ai no ka lāʻau a kā lākou keiki. No kēia wale nō, ua loaʻa paha iā ia kona wahi ma ka papa inoa. Akā iā ia i hoʻāʻo ai e wehewehe i ke kumu kūʻai o ke kumukūʻai e like me ka hoʻonui maoli ʻana o ka mākeke ua hoʻopaʻa ʻo ia iā ia. He lanahu ia a hoʻololi iā ʻoe i kēia makahiki, ʻo Heather a me kāu mau Pharma Bros.

ʻO Boris Johnson

ʻO ka hapanui oʻoukou e wawae nei i kou poʻo i kēia manawa. E ʻae iaʻu e hoʻolauna iā ʻoe iā Boris Johnson, ke kuhina nui o UK no nā ʻāina ʻē a me Commonwealth i kau i kāna ʻaoʻao ma ka paipai Brexit. I ka wā i hoʻokuʻu aku ai ʻo Pelekikena Pelekikena i kahi ʻōlelo i ka poʻe o Pelekane e koi ana iā lākou e noho i ka EU, ua hōʻike ʻo Johnson, e like me Trump, e like paha me ka makemake ʻole o Pelekikena Obama i ka "British Empire" ma muli o kāna hoʻoilina Kenyan. Pōkole ka lōʻihi o ka moʻolelo, me kā Johnson hoʻokūkū ʻana a me kāna paipai ʻana, ua hala ʻo Brexit a ua hoʻomaka koke ka poʻe Pelekane e ʻike i ka hopena o ka hoʻokele waiwai a me ka nohona kaiāulu, akā i kēlā manawa ua lohi loa ia.

ʻO Mitch McConnell

ʻO ka luna nui o ka Senate Senate a me ka mea nui loa, ua lilo ʻo Senator Mitch McConnell o Kentucky i helehelena o kahi senate Repubalika kūʻē i hoʻolaʻa ʻia no ka lanakila ʻana i nā manaʻo a ka Pelekikena ma mua o ke alakaʻi ʻana i ka lehulehu. Ua pīhoihoi ka poʻe ʻAmelika ma nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua i ka wā a McConnell i hoʻolaha ai i ka mua o kēia makahiki ʻaʻole ʻo ia e ʻae i ka hoʻolohe ʻana i nā hālāwai hoʻolohe manaʻo o nā luna o ka ʻAha Hoʻokolokolo Kiʻekiʻena mai ka Pelekikena Obama no ka mea aia ʻo Obama i kona makahiki hope loa i ke keʻena a ʻaʻole hiki ke koho i nā moho i kēlā manawa. Mai noʻonoʻo ua hana ʻia ia i nā manawa he nui i hala. ʻOiai he mea maoli, ua hauʻoli ʻo McConnell ʻo kekahi o nā manawa maikaʻi loa o kona ola ʻo ia ka lā i nānā aku ai i ka Pelekikena i ka maka a hoʻohiki ʻaʻole e koho ʻo Obama i Lunakanawai hou. No nā mea he nui, ua lilo ka Senator i keikikāne no ka mana polikiki ʻoihana pololi. Hōʻike ʻo ia i nā hewa āpau i loko o ka ʻōnaehana a ua loaʻa iā ia kona wahi ma kēia papa inoa i hoʻokahi tausani mau manawa. I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē, pono e makaʻala ʻo ia i kēia Krampusnacht.

ʻO Reverend James David Manning

Ua hana ʻo Reverend James David Manning i inoa nona iho. Ua hoʻolilo ke kahunapule o ka Church Church Missionary Atlah Worldwide ma Lenox Ave. ma Harlem i ka ʻāpana ʻoi aku o kāna ʻoihana e haʻi e pili ana i nā hewa o ka moekolohe. ʻO nā hōʻailona ma waho o kāna hale pule e hōʻike ana i ka hailuku ʻana i ke kaiāulu gay a ua aʻo aku hoʻi no ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana o Pelekikena Obama i ka "daimonio homosexual" ma ke kaiāulu ʻeleʻele me ka ʻōlelo aʻo hou aku i nā wahine ʻeleʻele e kiaʻi pono no ka mea e hele mai ana nā "daimonio homosexual keʻokeʻo" no kā lākou kāne ʻeleʻele. Ua hoʻomau pinepine ʻo ia mai ka hoʻomaka o ka makahiki, a paʻakikī i ka hāmama ʻana o kāna hale pule me kahi ʻaiʻē he $ 1 miliona āna i hōʻiliʻili ai a ke kakali nei mākou āpau no ka hāʻule ʻana o nā kāmaʻa ʻē aʻe. Hoʻokahi mea e maopopo leʻa, aia ʻo Manning ma ka papa inoa ʻo Krampus no nā kumu he nui.

ʻO Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

ʻO Debbie, ʻo Debbie, ʻo Debbie. He paʻakikī e noʻonoʻo, i kēia lā a me ke au, e manaʻo kekahi i kā lākou leka uila he hōʻoia hōʻoia. ʻO wau e ʻōlelo nei, ʻaneʻane anti-climactic kēia manawa ke hāʻule ʻo WikiLeaks i kahi e-leka uila hou. A eia nō naʻe, ua kākau ʻo Debbie i kahi mau leka uila e hōʻike ana i kāna bias no Hillary Clinton i ke kumu nui o ka Democratic Party. ʻAʻole ia he maikaʻi ʻole koe wale nō ke noho ʻo ia ka luna o ka DNC i kēlā manawa a ua ʻōlelo nā leka uila e koho ana ka DNC iā Clinton me ka nānā ʻole i nā helu balota a Bernie Sanders, kaulana, a me ka likelika e lanakila ʻo ia i ke koho balota. ʻO ia ka mea i lilo i ka hana, akā hāʻawi ʻia ia i ka hilinaʻi ʻole i manaʻo ʻia iā Clinton i ke koho balota. Ke kiʻi ʻana ʻo Debbie i ka lanahu i kēia makahiki a me kahi kipa mai Anti-Claus.

ʻO Brock Turner

ʻIke ka poʻe āpau i kēia inoa, ʻeā? ʻO Brock Turner, ka mea ʻauʻau Stanford nāna i hoʻokalakupua i wahine wahine ʻole. I mea e hōʻino ai i ka wahine ʻilihune i hōʻeha ʻia i ke ʻano ʻino loa, ua loaʻa iā Turner he mau mahina ʻeono wale nō i loko o ka hale paʻahao no kāna hewa mai ka luna kānāwai ʻo Aaron Persky. Ua hoʻopau ʻo Turner i ka lawelawe ʻana i ʻekolu mau mahina wale nō o kēlā ʻōlelo. Kākaʻikahi loa kā mākou ʻike maka ʻana i kahi hāʻule o ka hoʻopono a no nā mea āpau no ka mea ua ʻōlelo ʻo Persky he kanaka ʻōpio ʻo Turner me kona ola a pau i mua ona nāna i kuhihewa. HE Kuhihewa? Hiki iā Turner lāua ʻo Persky ke kali i kahi kipa mai Krampus a manaʻo wau e hāʻawi ʻo ia i kahi hoʻoponopono maoli.

Milo Yiannopoulos

Milo Yiannopoulos. He paʻakikī e noʻonoʻo i kahi kanaka crummy hou aʻe ma kēia papa inoa. ʻO ke alakaʻi ponoʻī i wehewehe ʻia i ka neʻe o ka politika, ʻo Yiannopoulos ka mea hoʻoponopono ʻenehana no Breitbart News a ua hāʻawi i ka honua i nā kumu he nui e hoʻowahāwahā iā ia. I kēia makahiki naʻe, ua hōʻea ʻo ia i kahi haʻahaʻa haʻahaʻa hou loa i ka wā i alakaʻi ai ʻo ia i kahi poʻe kipi Twitter e kūʻē iā Leslie Jones. Ua hānai ʻo Yiannopoulos i ka huhū i ka lilo ʻana o nā Tweet i mea hoʻokae a me ka misogynist. Ua kū ʻo Jones i kona kahua no ka mea hiki iā ia ma mua o ka holo ʻana i ka pūnaewele a i ka hopena ua pio ka ʻino. I ke ala ʻana, pāpā ʻia ʻo Yiannopoulos mai Twitter mau loa. ʻAʻole ia i hoʻolohi iā ia i nā mea āpau, eia nō naʻe, a ke hoʻomau nei ʻo ia e hoʻolaha i kāna mana ʻino o ka conservatism racist. Pono kēia dude ma kahi o ʻekolu a ʻehā mau kipa mai Krampus.

Ann Coulter

ʻO wau, ʻoiaʻiʻo, pono wau e wehewehe i kēia? ʻO kēia wahine paha kekahi o nā mea hōʻeha loa ma ka honua. ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke noʻonoʻo i kekahi e noʻonoʻo pono iā ia. Kupu ʻo ia i ka mea ʻinoʻino i nā mea kūlike ʻole me ia, ʻo kēlā me kēia mea. Hana pinepine ʻo ia i kāna mau "ʻoiaʻiʻo" e kākoʻo i kāna mau paio. A i kēia lā o ke koho balota, ke kīkaha nei i kāna vitriol racist ma Twitter i kāna ʻōlelo ʻana inā hiki iā mākou ke kaupalena i ka loko koho balota i nā poʻe me nā kūpuna ʻehā i hānau ʻia ma loko o ka US, e lanakila ʻo Trump i kahi kahawai 50 state. ʻAʻohe mea i kuhikuhi iā ia ʻo ia ka manaʻo ʻaʻole hiki i ka Trump ke koho, ʻo ia iho nō, ʻoiaʻiʻo nō kēia. ʻAe, ke kipa nei ʻo Ann a ʻaʻole maikaʻi ia.

Nā Hoʻolālā ʻAha Mele ʻAmelika

I kēia makahiki, ua hāʻawi ʻia kahi hana kūikawā kūikawā ma nā CMA. Ua hui pū ʻo Beyonce i ka Dixie Chicks e hoʻokani i ka mele a ka wahine hele mua a Destiny's Child i kapa ʻia ʻo “Lessons Lessons”. Ua hoʻokipa maikaʻi ʻia ke mele e ka lehulehu me ka hapa nui o ko lākou mau wāwae e hulahula ana i ka hōʻike e kū nei i ka helu. I ka pau ʻana o ka pāhola a ka hui a me kā lākou malihini kūikawā, ua maopopo ka hapa nui o mākou he manawa kēia e ola mau ai. ʻO ia, a hiki i ka piʻi ʻana o nā kiʻi a me nā pou ma ka pūnaewele CMA a hoʻomaka ka poʻe o ka ʻāina i kahi ʻōlelo hōʻino a me nā ʻōlelo kūʻē i ka mea hana ma ka hōʻike. Ma mua o ka hoʻohana ʻana iā ia i kahi manawa e piʻi i luna no ke kaulike, akā naʻe, ua hana maikaʻi nā CMA i kā lākou pae e kāpae i kekahi kiʻi a i ʻole e ʻōlelo ʻana iā Beyonce mai kā lākou pūnaewele. ʻO 2016 kēia, ʻeā? Ke hoʻokomo nei wau i ke wikiō nona a me nā Dixie Chicks e hana nei ma aneʻi no ka mea aia ʻo ia ma laila. Ua huhū ʻo ia. A kupaianaha ka hana. ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu inā e kau pū ana ʻolua ma Krampusnacht, akā inā ʻoe i hana, hele paha ʻoe i ke kukui no ka hana ʻole ʻana iā Krampus e alualu ʻokoʻa iā ʻoe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1Y7h9heQjw

ʻO ka poʻe āpau i pili me ka 2016 Election Cycle

Maʻaneʻi i nā mokuʻāina, ua noho mākou ma waena o kahi pōʻai koho koho hoʻohilahila paha i kēia hoʻomanaʻo. Ua ʻike mākou i nā hanana a lohe i nā ʻōlelo a mākou i moeʻuhane ʻole ai mai kahi moho Pelekikena. ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu hiki iaʻu ke kapa inoa i nā mea āpau a i ʻole nā ​​kumu a lākou e manaʻo ai iā Krampus ma ko lākou puka puka Krampusnacht. Ma kekahi ʻaoʻao, aia iā mākou ka Trump nāna i kūkulu i kāna huakaʻi e pili ana i ka lāhui, misogynistic, a me ka haʻi ʻōlelo xenophobic, a laila e kū mālie a hana e like me ka pili ʻole o kāna poʻe ukali i hana i kēlā ʻōlelo. ʻAʻole hiki iā ia ke lawe i ke kuleana no kekahi o kāna hana. Ua koho ʻo ia i moho moho pelekikena hope nāna i hoʻolilo kāna ʻoihana holoʻokoʻa i ke aupuni e hana ana i kāna pae kiʻekiʻe loa e hōʻole i nā kuleana i ka LGBTQ + Community. Ma kēlā ʻaoʻao, aia iā mākou ʻo Hillary Clinton ʻoiai ʻo ka mākaukau loa ʻaʻole hiki ke pakele i ka hōʻino, maoli a kuhi ʻia paha, mai nā leka uila a i nā mea manaʻo kipi e hoʻāʻo nei iā mākou e make paha kekahi mea kūʻē iā ia.

Ua ʻike mākou i nā hoʻolaha pāpāho e hōʻike i ka wahaheʻe piha e like me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Ua ʻike mākou i ka hoʻomāʻewaʻewa ʻana o ka poʻe a ʻike maka i ka hoʻomāʻewaʻewa i lilo i mea ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ke lilo nā kūʻē i nā haunaele.

Ua ʻike mākou i ka ʻoi loa o ka maikaʻi o ke kanaka i ko mākou hoʻokokoke ʻana i Super Tuesday, a ʻakaʻaka ka honua a hāʻule ka mākeke kūʻai i ka wā i pani ai nā balota a koi ʻia ʻo Clinton e ʻae iā Trump. ʻAʻole mākou i aʻo i kekahi mea mai nā hewa o Pelekane a me Brexit. Hell, ua aʻo ʻole mākou i ka mea mai ke Aupuni Roma.

I ke alo o nā hopena, ua hāhā ka poʻe kūʻē ma waena o ka lāhui a me nā hanana o ka hoʻomāhuahua ākea a me ke ʻano nui i kī ʻia i ka hale. ʻAʻole maopopo leʻa ko mākou wā e hiki mai ana ma mua o kā mākou i ʻike ai.