me Maggie hoʻokuʻu ʻia a Terminator: ʻO Genesys (ʻo wau wale nō ka mea e inaina ʻole nei i ka heluhelu ʻole i nā poʻo kiʻi ʻoniʻoni?) e hoʻokuʻu koke ʻia, ua noʻonoʻo wau, e pili ana i ka hōkū nui ʻelua ʻo Arnold Schwarzenegger. He helehelena anuanu ʻo ia e hele aku ana i ka pūʻali koa hoʻokahi, e waiho ana i nā kino he nui i hope o ka luku ʻana ma luna o nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni a laila ke kū ke kī ʻana, he aha kāna hana? Kuha ʻo ia i kahi liner smirking hoʻokahi. ʻO kahi kinipōpō, akā kūpono i ke kūlana, pono ʻoe e kū i luna, hoʻolei i kou lima i ka lewa a hoʻonui i kahi kāne "YEA-AHHH!" ʻĀ, ka hapa nui o ka manawa. ʻO kekahi o kēia mau ʻalani he maikaʻi ʻole e facepalm ʻoe ​​i ka hilahila, me he mea hilahila ʻoe nona. ʻO ka manaʻo e hoʻopuka ke kanaka i kēlā mau lālani ma hope o ka hōʻike ʻia ʻana i kahi hoʻonohonoho kūpono e nīnau iā ʻoe ma hea mākou ma ke ʻano he kāne.

A laila aia kekahi mau laina hoʻokahi e hāʻule pono i ka waena. ʻO kēia nā scratchers poʻo. ʻO nā mea āu e ʻike ʻole inā maikaʻi, akā ʻaʻole maikaʻi ʻole ia. ʻO kēia nā mea ʻono a mākou e nānā ai. ʻIke wau e nānā ana wau i kekahi mau mea, akā ʻo kēia nā mea i pili pū me aʻu no nā kumu kūpono, ʻoi loa ka pīhoihoi, maikaʻi, lapuwale no ka nele o kahi huaʻōlelo maikaʻi aʻe. Akā manaʻo wau hoʻokahi wale nō kāne e hiki ke hōʻoia i koʻu manaʻo, no laila e lawe aku ʻoe, e Arnie!

"Ua hopu ʻo ia i kahi kaʻaahi." - ʻOʻElo
Ke pau nā mea i ka hana ʻia i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, e noho ana ka mea ʻino a James Caan i kāna limo ke kū nei ma nā ala kaʻaahi. Kāhea ʻo Arnold iā ia, e hoʻomāʻewaʻewa ana, "Ua holoi ʻia ʻoe," ʻoiai ke kaʻaahi e haki ana i ka limo, a hoʻomaka i ka pohā nui a me ka luku ʻana iā James Caan. Noho ʻo Arnold ma kahi kaʻa pakele me ke pēpē ʻo Vanessa Williams ke nīnau nei ʻo ia i ka mea i hana ʻia. Pane ʻo ia, "Ua hopu ʻo ia i kahi kaʻaahi," a hemo ʻo ia, ʻōwili nā ʻaiʻē. He aha ka mea e kūʻai aku ai i kēia ma ke ʻano he cheesy one-liner, ʻokoʻa ka mea ʻo ia, ʻo ke kīkā o ke kika ma hope pono o kāna ʻōlelo ʻana a ʻokiʻoki i ʻeleʻele i nā hōʻaiʻē, e like me ke kiʻi e hoʻoiho nei i ka mic a hele i luna o ke kahua.

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"ʻO kuʻu kino, kaʻu koho!" - Junior
ʻAʻole pono e ʻōlelo ʻia kēia laina, akā ke nānā nei ʻoe i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni e pili ana iā Arnold Schwarzenegger e hānau ana, ua ʻike maoli ʻoe i ka hiki ʻana mai. ʻO ia kekahi o kēlā mau slogan i hoʻopili ʻia i nā mea āpau i kēlā manawa; anti-drug, abstinence, ʻai, a pēlā aku. Akā ʻo ka lohe ʻana i ke kanaka nāna i ʻānai i nā haneli mau thugs me kahi pū mīkini nui i hoʻokahi lima e luku maoli i ka leka. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻakaʻaka.

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"Hiki iaʻu ke hoʻolohe i kaʻu kamaʻilio ʻana, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke kiaʻi." - Hercules ma Nu Ioka
I ka makahiki 1969 i ka wā i kapa ʻia ʻo ia ʻo Mr. Universe i kāna hana kiʻi ʻoniʻoni mua, ua hōkū ʻo Arnold ma ke ʻano he Akua Helene i kahi lā hou ʻo New York, ma mua o ka hana ʻana o 80 i kahi koa o ka pili ʻana i nā koa moemoeā i kēia lā. ʻO nā kamaʻilio āpau i kēia mau kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ka nani o ka iʻa mai ke ʻano wai e kuhi hewa ʻole i kekahi o nā lingo a ʻenehana paha i kēia lā. Ma hope o ke kaʻi ʻia ʻana e nānā i kāna mea e ʻōlelo nei, pane wale ʻo Hercules me kēia quip lapuwale, akā ʻoiaʻiʻo, paʻi ʻoe i kou lae a ʻakaʻaka. Ua like ia me kahi mea a ke haumāna papa papa e manaʻo ai e hoʻi hou. Akā mai hopohopo ʻoe, e Arnold. Hoʻopiha ʻoe i kāu hiki i ka pale hoʻokahi i loko o iwakālua mau makahiki. E hoʻomaopopo hoʻi wau e hakakā ana ʻo ia i ka bea i kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni.

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"ʻAʻole ʻoe e inu a hoʻomoʻa." - Hana Kū
ʻO kēia kahi mea aʻu e manaʻo nei ʻaʻole e haʻi ʻia. Hiki ke hana ʻia nā mea weliweli he nui. ʻO kahi laʻana, hiki iā ʻoe ke poina ua hoʻā ʻoe i ke kapuahi, e hoʻopiha ana i kou home me ka ʻaila a i ʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻomaka i kahi ahi ʻaila ... a i ʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻolei i kahi keke kokoleka i hoʻomoʻa ʻia i kahi ʻehiku kapuaʻi ke kiʻekiʻe, ke kāne nui ʻo Austrian.

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“E makemake ʻoe e mahiʻai? Eia kekahi mau ʻeka ʻelua! ” - ʻO Hero Hero Hope loa
ʻO kahi aho maikaʻi ʻole, maikaʻi ia, ʻo ka hapanui no ka mea ma hope o ka ʻōlelo ʻia, kīkē ʻo ia i kahi kāne i ka crotch a hoʻouna iā ia e lele leʻaleʻa ana i ka lewa. ʻO ia ka manaʻo ma hope ʻO Hero Hero Hope loa ʻoiai. He spoof ia ma nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni hana a me ka hoʻolei ʻana iā Arnie e hāʻawi wale i kēlā kuʻi. ʻO wau e ʻōlelo nei me ka manaʻo a me ka manaʻo maoli. Aia ma luna o ka top a me ka goofy a lapuwale loa nā mea laina hoʻokahi, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke akaaka. Loaʻa i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni kahi rap maikaʻi ʻole, akā ʻoluʻolu wau no ke aha ia. ʻO kaʻu laina punahele paha kēia mai ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. ʻOiai i loko o ka pōʻaiapili i loko o ia, nani hou ia i ke akua a laila kīleʻa ʻo ia i ke kanaka i nā pōpō. Pehea ʻoe e aloha ʻole ai? Manaʻo wau ma hope o ka puka ʻana o kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, e ʻōlelo ana nā keiki āpau ma ke kula i kēia kūpono ma mua o ke kī ʻana i kekahi i ka ʻōpala, akā ua waiho ʻole ʻia mākou i ka lele ʻole ʻana o kēlā keiki i kahi mau kakini kakini. Ma kahi o ka pilikia. Hoʻohui pinepine mākou e hoʻohālike iā Arnold, a ukali ʻia e kahi papa.

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Aloha, cutie pie. Ua pilikia loa kekahi o mākou. ” - Ke Kanaka Holo
Inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻi e ka holomua o ka papa inoa, e hoʻomaka ana nā mea e lapuwale maoli. ʻOiai no Arnold kēia laina he… aloha wale. Ma hope o kāna ʻōlelo ʻana i kēia, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kōkua akā noʻonoʻo "aww" a laila e pīhoihoi no ka mea ʻike ʻoe e pili ana iā Richard Dawson. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ua ʻōlelo ʻo Richard Dawson iā ia iā Arnold i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, akā hoʻihoʻi ʻo Arnie i ka laina i ka manawa o ka climax. Ua ʻike ʻoe e noʻonoʻo wale ana ʻo Dick ʻaʻole pono iā ia e ʻōlelo i kēlā kanaka e hoʻi hou mai ana e pepehi iā ia ma hope. ʻAʻole loa kekahi o nā huaʻōlelo hope āu e makemake ai e hoʻolohe.

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"E noʻonoʻo e hemo hemo." - huina ke hoole i
Maikaʻi wau ma hope huina ke hoole i, makemake ka hapa nui o ka poʻe i kēia hiki ke haʻalele i kēia ala. He aha ke ala e hoʻopau ai i ka male ʻawaʻawa. ʻAʻole wau e ʻae i ka hana ʻino, ʻoiaʻiʻo. Ma hope o ka ʻike ʻana o Arnold he leʻaleʻa kāna male a me kahi ʻāpana kipi e kūʻē iā ia, ma mua o ke kiola ʻana i kāna apo mare i loko o kahi loko a i ʻole mea cliche, pops ʻo ia iā Sharon Stone i ke poʻo me kahi 9mm a ʻōlelo ʻo ia me kēlā smirk Schwarzenegger.

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"Ua maikaʻi, nā mea āpau ... CHILL!" - Batman & Robin
He paʻakikī e koho i hoʻokahi laina cheesy mai Batman & Robin a hiki i koʻu noʻonoʻo ʻana iā ia, ʻo ka hapanui no ka mea lapuwale lākou āpau. He pune hau nā mea āpau. Pehea ke akamai. He paʻakikī e manaʻoʻiʻo ua hele pū ʻo Arnold me ka hoʻolei ʻana iā ia iho i loko o kēlā pena pena polū a me ka lole goofy a laila kuha wale aku i nā mea ʻē aʻe a ʻike ʻoe i ka uku i uku ʻia no ia kuleana. Hell, inā wau i hana. Akā e like me kaʻu i ʻōlelo ai, ʻo ka ʻohi ʻana i ka laina lapuwale liʻiliʻi loa mai kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ua paʻakikī iki ia i ka wā mua, a hiki i ka wā i hana hou ai au (ʻae, ua hana hou au ia mea ... no nā hana noiʻi, ʻoiaʻiʻo) a ua hoʻohoka wau i kēia laina kikoʻī. He maʻalea hou aʻe ke hoʻohālikelike ʻoe iā ia i ke koena.

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"Pili pili." - Moana
Hoʻomanaʻo nā kānaka āpau i kēia no “GET TO THE CHOPPA!” ʻO ka mea maikaʻi, akā ʻaʻole ia he cheesy. ʻOiaʻiʻo he kiʻi ʻoniʻoni kahi hana 80 kahi a Arnold e puhi nei i nā kāne ʻino i kahi mea e hāʻawi iā mākou, ʻeā? ʻAʻole lākou e kuʻi wale iā Arnold i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni a ʻaʻole e hoʻokuʻu iā ia e hoʻōho i nā mea hana hoʻohenehene hoʻokahi. Laki ʻaʻole lākou i haʻalele iā mākou e kau ana. Ke hoʻāʻo kekahi chump e ʻimi iā ia, hoʻolei koke ʻo Arnold i kahi pahi i loko o ka umauma o goon me ka paʻakikī, pili ʻo ia i kahi pou a ʻōlelo ʻo Arnie iā ia e "pili" a laila holo ʻo ia e pepehi i nā poʻe hou aku e like me kāna quota e hoʻopiha ai. .

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"Eia Sub-Zero, i kēia manawa ... PLAIN-AERO!" - Ke Kanaka Holo
No ka nui o nā ʻōlelo a Arnold, hiki iaʻu ke hele mau loa, akā e hīmeni ka wahine momona i ka hopena. I ka hiki ʻana iā Arnold hoʻokahi laina, aia hoʻokahi wale nō i pālua iaʻu no ka ʻakaʻaka ʻana e pono wau e hoʻi hou i nā manawa he nui e maopopo ai ua lohe pono wau iā ia (a ua hana wau). Ma hope o ka pepehi ʻana i kekahi o nā stalkers nona ka loea i ka hau (ʻo ia ka mea e hoʻi hou i kumuhana i kā Arnie ʻoihana), nānā ʻo ia i loko o kekahi o nā kāmela a hoʻōho i kāna mau mea lanakila ma ka pale hoʻokahi. Loaʻa iaʻu ka manaʻo ua hoʻomaikaʻi ʻia kēia laina. E like me ma mua o ka lawe ʻana, ua haʻi aku ʻo Arnold i ka luna hoʻokele he manaʻo nui kāna no ka liner hoʻokahi, no laila ua ʻōwili lākou a hiki mai ka manawa a kuha ʻo ia i waho a… hāmau. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hāmau i ka hāmau e pili ana i ka mea hana keaka a me nā limahana ke kū ʻo ia ma laila e minoaka ana, haʻaheo iā ia iho. ʻO wau e, e nānā i kona alo ke hāʻawi ʻo ia i kēlā laina. ʻĀ, haʻaheo wau iā ʻoe, e Arnold. ʻO mākou āpau. Mahalo no kou hoʻi ʻana i ka hana a ke nānā nei mākou i mua i ka nui o kāu cheesy one-liners.

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ʻEntionlelo Hoʻohanohano: Ke ʻano o ka hāpai ʻana. - Pahu hao
Ua ʻike wau i kou heluhelu ʻana i kēia papa inoa, ke noʻonoʻo nei ʻoe, “akā pehea Pahu hao? ” Hilinaʻi iaʻu, ke manaʻo nei wau i ka mea like, no laila ʻaʻole wau e waiho iā ʻoe e kau. Ke hoʻohālikelike nei ʻo Arnold i ke ʻano o ka hāpai ʻana i ka hiki ʻana mai? Pono ia i kāna iho ponoʻī. Aia kekahi mau mea a ka poʻe e mihi nei i ka ʻōlelo ʻana i loko o kā lākou ola, kākau ʻia ʻaʻole paha, akā ʻo kēia ... ʻike wau ʻaʻole hilahila ʻo ia iā ia. I kēia manawa e noʻonoʻo wale iā Arnold e hana nei i kāna inoa "N'YAHH!" helehelena i kona climaxes. Aloha ahiahi, kākou āpau!

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