Ma hope o ka ʻike ʻana i ka Haku o Salema he ʻelima a ʻeono paha manawa, ua hāʻawi wau i ka puke i kahi puahiohio ma hope o ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi kope mai kaʻu wahine i makana. Ua makemake au e lālau a heluhelu ia no kekahi manawa, akā i kēia manawa i mua o koʻu alo, no laila ua hoʻokaʻawale wau i kahi puke aʻu e heluhelu nei, a komo pono i ka nūnū.

Inā ʻoe e haʻohaʻo ana inā ʻoe e heluhelu ia, ʻaʻole ka pane pōkole. Inā makemake ʻoe i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, pono ʻoe e nānā iā ia e mahalo i ka moʻolelo i kākau ʻia, a ʻeli i nā hoʻololi āpau i hana ʻia.

Eia ka pane iki hou aʻe.

Inā makemake ʻoe i kā Rob Zombie kiʻiʻoniʻoni, he heluhelu ʻole i ka puke. Inā makemake ʻoe i kahi ʻano o ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, pono nō ʻoe e heluhelu. Nui nā ʻokoʻa e pili ana iā ia e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i kahi ʻike ʻokoʻa loa, kahi āu e makemake ai e ʻoi aku. Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake i ka kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, kuhi au ia kaukaʻi maoli i ke kumu āu i makemake ʻole ai. Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i makemake i ke kahua maʻamau, mai hoʻoluhi. Inā makemake ʻoe i ka manaʻo, akā ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake i ke ala i lawe ʻia ai no nā kumu āpau, pono ʻoe e heluhelu ia, no ka mea, he ʻike ʻokoʻa ia ma mua o ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, a hele ia i kekahi ʻano ʻokoʻa loa i nā manawa.

Ok, i kēia manawa e loaʻa wau i ka pane lōʻihi.

E hoʻomaka wau i ka hāʻawi ʻana iā ʻoe i koʻu mau manaʻo holoʻokoʻa e pili ana iā Rob Zombie ma ke ʻano he mea paʻi kiʻi, no laila e ʻike ʻoe i kahi e hele mai nei kuʻu kuanaʻike. He peahi au. Aloha au i ka House of 1,000 Corpses, a aloha au i ka The Devil's Rejects ma kahi o ʻelima mau manawa keu. ʻAʻole wau ka pā nui loa o Halloween, akā manaʻo wau he mau mea paʻa maoli nō ia, a ke ʻike nei nō wau e nānā hou ana iā ia i kēlā me kēia manawa. Mālama wau iā H2 ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi, akā ua hauʻoli wau ma mua o H20 a me Ke ala hou ʻana. E like me ka nui o nā mea pā o Zombie, ua haʻalele wau i ka wā nui loa o ka Halloween, a ʻaʻole wau i maopopo i ka mea e kali ai mai ka Haku. A laila, ua nānā au iā ia, a aloha hou me Zombie ke alakaʻi. ʻO wau, ʻo Lords of Salem ka mea pololei a Zombie e pono ai e hana, a ʻo ia ka mea weliweli e pono ai i kēlā manawa. ʻO ka manawa mua aʻu i ʻike ai, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke ʻae akā ʻaʻole wau e like me ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni āna e hana ai ma hope o ka Devil's Rejects. Maopopo iaʻu ua like ka manaʻo o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.

No laila ua lawa ia e ʻōlelo ai, makemake wau i nā Haku o Salema. Makemake au i ka manaʻo, a aloha au i ka lewa holoʻokoʻa a me nā ʻike kiʻi. Aloha pū wau i ke kani kani.

I kēia manawa, i ka puke. MAU LOA MAU LOA.

E like me ka maopopo ʻole iaʻu ka mea e manaʻo ai mai Zombie e hele nei i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, ʻaʻole wau i maopopo i ka mea e manaʻo ai e hele i loko o ka puke, no ka mea, aneane paʻakikī e paʻakikī inā ʻaʻole hiki ʻole ke huki i ka ʻano moemoeā like. lewa i hōʻike ʻia i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni me ka maikaʻi ʻole o ka pāpāho ʻike (ʻaʻole e hōʻike i ka nele o ke mele). ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu ka mea e manaʻo ai iā Zombie ma ke ʻano he mea kākau moʻolelo, ʻoiai ʻo ia i kākau pū me BK Evenson (ka mea aʻu i heluhelu ʻole ai ma mua). ʻAʻole au i maopopo iki i ka nui o ka mea i kākau maoli ʻia e Zombie iho, akā i ka hopena, ʻaʻole wau e manaʻo he mea nui ia.

Ke hoʻomaka nei, ʻaʻole lōʻihi ka manawa e ʻike ai ka ʻokoʻa ʻokoʻa o ka puke mai ka mea a mākou e ʻike nei i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. Hoʻolaʻa ʻia nā mokuna hoʻomaka i nā hoʻokalakupua a me nā hoʻokalakupua o nā wā i hala. Loaʻa iā mākou kahi kiʻi paʻi kiʻi o kahi mōhai pēpē, a hui maoli me Sātana ma mua o ka ʻike ʻana i ka hopu a me ka hoʻomāinoino ʻia o nā wahine kilokilo iā lākou iho.

I ka manawa e hiki ai i kēia lā, hoʻomaka like nā mea like me kā lākou hana i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, koe wale nō mākou e ʻike ʻo Steve ka inoa o ka ʻīlio o Heidi ma mua o Troy. Ua wehewehe ʻo Zombie i ke kumu no ka loli o ka DVD manaʻo. ʻO ke kumu, ʻo ka ʻīlio a lākou e hoʻohana nei i ka inoa maoli ʻo Troy, a ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka hana ʻana me kahi ʻīlio e pane ana i kona inoa maoli.

Noho ka hapa nui o ka storyline i ka tact ma loko o ka puke, akā aia kekahi mau hiʻohiʻona ʻaʻole i loko o ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, a ʻo kekahi poʻe ʻokoʻa ʻokoʻa.

Aia kahi hiʻohiʻona i hele ʻole ʻia mai ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni e pili ana i nā mea kilokilo i kēia lā e ʻākoakoa nei i loko o kahi hale pule a me ka hoʻolālā hoʻopaʻi ʻana. I kekahi hanana, ua hālāwai ʻo Heidi i kekahi mau "nuns" ʻē mai ka hale pule.

Aia he ʻelua mau hiʻohiʻona ʻokoʻa e pili ana i nā wahine ma Salem (nā mamo a nā mea pāʻani nui i nā hoʻokalakupua) e hoʻolohe ana i ka mele a ka Haku ma ka lekiō, a me ka luku hoʻomake ʻana i kā lākou mea nui. ʻO kēia mau hiʻohiʻona a ʻano lōʻihi hoʻi i loko o ka puke, a hāʻawi i kahi ʻano ʻokoʻa loa i ka hopena o ke mele ma nā wahine o ke kaona ke hoʻohālikelike ʻia i nā kiʻi pōkole a mākou e ʻike nei i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. Aia kekahi pili pilikino a me ka necrophilia i pili.

Aia kekahi mau mea hou aʻe i ka hanana kahi i hoʻopaʻa ʻia ai ka ninaninau ʻeleʻele ʻo Leviathan ka Holo kolohe i ka ninaninau ma ke kahua lekiō (i loko o ka puke he ʻelua mau lālā o ka hui ma kahi o hoʻokahi). Aia kekahi mea hoʻomākeʻaka keu i hoʻohui ʻia i ka hanana i loko o ka puke. Heluhelu mākou e pili ana, no ka laʻana, kekahi o nā lālā o ka bana e noho ana i ka lumi e heluhelu ana i kahi makasina Highlight ke kali nei lākou e nīnauele ʻia. ʻOi aku ka mea i kolo i ka poʻe i loko o ka puke ma mua o ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, kahi e hoʻokani ai i ka leo o ka puke.

Aia kekahi mau hiʻohiʻona me ka luna o ka lekiō ʻaʻole i loko o ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. Aia kekahi ʻano hoʻomākeʻaka e hele pū mai me ke kuleana. ʻO kahi laʻana, hoʻopaʻapaʻa lāua me Whitey e pili ana i ka faila ʻana i kahi album ʻo Rod Stewart.

Aia kekahi mau mea hou aʻe me ka mea hoʻokipa ma ke kahua lekiō, e like me kāna kamaʻilio ʻana me kāna kahu hānai ma ke kelepona e pili ana i True Blood (a manaʻo ʻo ia he "paʻakikī" kahi hōʻike vampire, a ʻoi aku ka nui o nā kāne e lawe i ko lākou pālule). ʻO kēia ka manawa e hōʻike ai ka pahu album ʻo Lords ma ka pākaukau mai kahi ʻole. ʻIke maoli ʻo ia e ʻike ʻia mai kahi ʻole ma nā kiʻi paʻi kiʻi paʻa.

E aʻo hou aʻe e pili ana i ke kumu e noho ai ʻo Heidi i loko o ke keʻena āna e hana ai. I ka wā mua, maopopo leʻa he ʻano ʻē ke konohiki o Heidi, a he pili nui me ke kumu o Heidi ma hea ʻo ia. E aʻo pū mākou i nā mea hou aʻe e pili ana i nā pilina o Heidi me Whitey a me Herman.

Loaʻa iā mākou nā hiʻohiʻona hou aku me Matthias, a ʻano ʻokoʻa iki kona ʻano ma mua o ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. ʻO Frankly, hele mai ʻo ia ma ke ʻano he prick pretentious i loko o ka puke (ma ka liʻiliʻi ma ka mua) akā i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, makemake nui ʻia ʻo ia i ka manawa holoʻokoʻa.

E like me ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, aia kekahi mau moʻo moeʻuhane i hoʻohenehene ʻia, akā ʻokoʻa ka hapa nui o ka puke, a pinepine pinepine ʻia, a me ke koko.

ʻAʻole wau makemake e hele i loko o nā kikoʻī e pili ana i nā hana pupule āpau i loaʻa i nā moemoeā o Heidi, no ka mea (me nā hiʻohiʻona pepehi kanaka) ʻo ia paha ka mea e waiwai ai ka puke ma mua o nā mea āpau, ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. Manaʻo wau ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hana i kekahi o ia mea i ke kaulike ma ka hōʻuluʻulu ʻana.

Hāʻawi pū ka puke i kahi hoʻomohala ʻano nui i ʻike ʻole ʻia ma ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, a me kekahi backstory hou e hoʻohui i ka lepe o nā kilokilo. Hoʻopau iki ia i kahi ʻano ʻokoʻa (a hou, ʻoi aku ka ikaika).

Ma nā mea āpau, he maʻalahi ka heluhelu ʻia ʻana o Lords of Salem, a he mea leʻaleʻa no nā mea pā ʻoi aku ka weliweli, a he wahi kūpono ia ma kau waihona.

He paʻakikī e ʻōlelo i koʻu manaʻo e pili ana i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni inā wau i heluhelu mua i ka puke. Nui loa nā hoʻololi. Ua hoʻohoka paha wau i ka waiho ʻia ʻana o kekahi mau mea, akā ua maʻa mua wau i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni e hele ana, a mahalo iā ia, ʻo ka heluhelu ʻana i ka puke e mahalo ai wau iā The Lords of Salem ma ke ʻano he nui āpau. E like me ka hihia me nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ʻē aʻe he mau puke nō, ʻoluʻolu e loaʻa nā ʻano ʻelua e hoʻi i.

ʻAʻole wau e noʻonoʻo i nā Lords of Salem ma ka like me The Shining (i nā ʻano like ʻole), akā aloha wau i kēlā moʻolelo i nā ʻano ʻelua - ʻO kā Stephen King puke moʻolelo a me kā Stanley Kubrick kiʻiʻoniʻoni. Hoʻokipa maikaʻi ʻia nā mea ʻelua ma ke ʻano he mau ʻāpana ʻokoʻa, a maikaʻi wale nō. E like me ka loaʻa ʻole o kahi kuhi e pili ana i ka nānā hou ʻana i kekahi, ʻaʻohe oʻu mea e pili ana i ka nānā hou ʻana i nā mana o Lords.

ʻO ka papahana ma ke ʻano he nui ua waiho wale iaʻu e makemake ana i ka weliweli hou aʻe mai iā Rob Zombie i kēlā me kēia ʻano āna e koho ai.