Manaʻo wau i kekahi manawa ke nānā nei mākou āpau i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni a ʻike koke ʻoe i kahi mea hana keaka kaulana i kēia manawa i kahi hana liʻiliʻi a i ʻole i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni a ʻōlelo aku ʻoe iā ʻoe iho, "kali, aia lākou i kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ?!" Lawe iā ʻoe e ke kahaha, a laila ke holoi ka mea haʻalulu iā ʻoe, lele ʻoe iā IMDB e ʻike pono i ka mea āu i ʻike ai he ʻoiaʻiʻo ... a ke hiki, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke manaʻoʻiʻo i ka lōʻihi o kā lākou hele ʻana mai. A i ʻole ka weliweli o lākou. A i ʻole pehea lapuwale kā lākou lauoho lauoho. E neʻe kāua.

I kahi ala, leʻaleʻa ka wehe ʻana i nā hana mua o nā mea hana keaka kaulana i kēia manawa; nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni kekahi o lākou makemake e poina iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole hilahila lākou āpau i kā lākou hana mua a inā hilahila iki lākou, me he mea lā he hoʻomākeʻaka ia e pili ana. No ka leʻaleʻa a i ʻole e ʻeli kekahi o ʻoukou i nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni kahiko e ʻike ai i kēia mau mea hana i nā hana mua, ua hele wau i mua a helu i kekahi. Ma hope o nā mea āpau, pono ʻoe e hoʻomaka i kahi hoʻomaka, ʻeā?

ʻO George Clooney i Hoʻi i ka weliweli kiʻekiʻe
Hoʻokahi makahiki ma mua o kona hōkū ʻana i Hoʻi o ka Tomato Killer, Ke hopu nei ʻo George Clooney i kāna kiʻi ʻoniʻoni i kahi inoa 'Return' ʻē aʻe. ʻO kāna kuleana ma Hoʻi i ka weliweli kiʻekiʻe ʻaʻohe mea nui, ke pāʻani nei i kahi mea hana keaka i kahi kiaʻi kiaʻi i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ... i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. ʻAʻole wau e kāhea i kēia hana breakout, akā ʻaʻole ia i kelepona iā ia i loko. I ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, hele aku kona ʻano ʻo Oliver ma hope o ka pae ʻana i kahi kuleana nui aʻe a kū i kāna make (a ʻo ia?). ʻO kekahi mea e pili ana i ke ʻano o Clooney e hele wāwae nei no ka mea manaʻo ʻo ia he maikaʻi loa ʻo ia no ka mea kūpono.

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ʻO Jennifer Aniston i Leprechaun
ʻAʻole kūʻiwa kēia i kekahi, ʻoiai ʻaʻole ia e like me kahi huna nui a mea ʻē aʻe paha. ʻO kāna kiʻi ʻoniʻoni i Leprechaun ua uhi koke ʻia e kāna kuleana ma ke ʻano ʻo Rachel i TV makamaka hoʻokahi makahiki ma hope (ʻoiai Leprechaun i paʻi ʻia i ʻelua mau makahiki ma mua o ka hoʻokuʻu ʻia ʻana), ʻo ia ka mea e hoʻomanaʻo nei nā poʻe iā ia. ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke haʻi iā ʻoe i ka mea i ʻoi aku ka hewa; kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni a i ʻole kāna hana ʻana i kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. Wakka Wakka!

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ʻO Leonardo DiCaprio i Kolohe 3
ʻAʻole ʻo Leo i ʻike ʻia ma ke ʻano he keiki keaka, ʻoiai ʻo ia i nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni a me nā hana kīwī ma mua o ka pā ʻana i ka nui i nā hale kiʻiʻoniʻoni - a me nā puʻuwai kaikamahine ʻōpio - me Titanic. He mea maikaʻi paha ia, no ka mea ʻike mākou āpau i ka hana maʻamau a nā mea hana keaka ke hele a makua. ʻOiai inā e koho wau i ka hopena o kāna ʻoihana, ke hoʻokolokolo nei e pili ana i kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, ʻaʻole wau i kuhi e hele ʻo ia i kekahi o nā mea hana keu a ikaika paha i kēia manawa. No laila, ke kāne e hele i ka hōkū i nā flicks Scorsese he nui a ʻaneʻane ʻaihue i kēlā me kēia hiʻohiʻona ʻo ia e like me Calvin Candy i Django Unchained hoʻomaka i loko Kolohe 3; kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni e pili ana i nā malihini huluhulu liʻiliʻi mai ka lewa e ʻai i ka poʻe. He kāne ʻoiaʻiʻo nā tālena he nui.

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ʻO Charlize Theron i Nā Keiki a ke Kākau III: ʻOhi Kūlanakauhale
Ma mua o kona ʻaihue ʻana i ka hōʻike mai iā Tom Hardy e like me kāna ʻano ʻo Imperator Furiosa ma Hehena Max: ukiuki Road, kahi e kuhikuhi ai ʻaʻole e ʻaihue wale kekahi i ke kukui mai iā Tom Hardy i kekahi mea, ua hoʻomaka ʻo Ms. Theron e like me ka hapa nui o nā mea hana i hana i nā makahiki 80 a me 90. i nā kiʻi hoʻoweliweli ʻino maoli. Eia nō naʻe, inā ʻālohilohi ʻoe hiki iā ʻoe ke nalo iā ia, ʻoiai ʻo ia ke hana nui, a me ke ʻano nui ma ke ʻano he 'Eli's Follower', ʻoi aku ka pōmaikaʻi nona ma muli o ka palapala ʻole ʻia. Inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻi, ʻo kēlā ʻāpana "koʻikoʻi, nui" ʻo ia ka hōʻino. A ʻoiai wau e ʻoiaʻiʻo, e ʻae wau e makemake wau i kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni. He leʻaleʻa cheesy. Loaʻa ʻo ia i kahi kokoke a hoʻomoana a pepehi i kaʻu mau ʻoka palaina, a lawe ʻia ka hentai i kahi pae hou.

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ʻO Adam Scott i loko Hellraiser: Nā Koko koko
I ka manawa i hoʻokani ai ʻo Adam Scott i ke kaikaina ʻo Will Ferrell ʻo Derek ʻO nā hoahānau, 'aʻole ia ka manawa mua i pâʻani i kahi d-eke papa honua. Hele kēlā hōʻaiʻē i kāna kuleana ʻo Jacques i Hellraiser: ʻO ke koko. ʻO Ugh, ʻo ia hoʻi ka inoa o kahi dude-bro, pili i ka nui o ke kino o ke kino Ax a kau i nā aniani maka i lalo o kona poʻo. Pono wau e hāʻawi iā ia, huki ia iā ia ma aneʻi. ʻO kēia ʻano ʻokoʻa ma waena o kēia a me kāna ʻano ma Pāka a me Nā Leʻaleʻa.

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ʻO Matthew McConaughey lāua ʻo Renee Zellweger ma Pepehi kanaka o Texas Chainsaw: ka hanauna hou
ʻO kēia kekahi mea e kahaha ʻole ai, no ka mea aia kahi pilau e pili ana iā ia i ka wā i hoʻokuʻu ʻia ai ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ma ke wikiō. I ka manawa i paʻi ʻia ai kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, ua hōkū ʻia nā kiʻi ʻelua i ʻike ʻole ʻia ʻo Matthew McConaughey lāua ʻo Renee Zellweger i kēia kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, akā ua kau ʻia… a hiki i kekahi mau makahiki ma hope mai ka manawa i hoʻomaka ai ka ʻike ʻana o nā mea ʻelua i ka piʻi ʻana o ka kaulana me He Manawa e Pepehi Ai a ʻO Jerry Maguire. Hoʻomākaukau koke ʻia ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni no ka hoʻokuʻu hou ʻana i ka manawa hoʻoweliweli nā mea hana keaka (ʻelua mau hui like) e hoʻopiʻi i nā mea hana kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, e ʻōlelo ana e hoʻohana ana i ka kaulana hou o kā lākou hōkū. Eia naʻe, ua puka i waho a ʻaʻohe mea nāna e mālama. E haʻi ʻoe i kāu makemake e pili ana i ke kiʻi ʻoniʻoni, akā aia ʻo McConaughey i kahi ʻano bonkers piha a me he mea lā aia ke kāne i kahi kiʻi ʻoniʻoni ʻokoʻa ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe.

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Brad Pitt i ʻO Freddy's Nightmares
ʻO ke kāne nona ka ola pilikino e hōʻike mau ʻia i ka ʻōpala, nā makasina nūhou o kēlā me kēia pule i hōkū ʻia i kahi mahele o ʻO Freddy's Nightmares. Kāhea ʻia ka Episode 14 o ke kau mua Kāleka ʻEleʻele, ʻO Brad Pitt ke ʻano ʻo Rick a me kāna ipo aloha he mau ipo ʻōpio i haʻalele iā Springwood. Kū ke kaʻa o kā lākou kaʻa no laila nānā lākou i loko o ka hōkele, akā holo ʻia ka hōkele e nā hick sadistic, no laila uh-oh, hijinks e hiki ai. No ka ʻōpio a me ka loaʻa ʻole o ka mea nui ma lalo o kāna kāʻei i kēlā manawa, maikaʻi maoli kāna hana, akā ʻaʻole ʻo ia ka maikaʻi. Hele kēlā hoʻohanohano i kāna hana ma ke ʻano he hoa noho me Dick a Floyd mai Aloha maoli.

ʻIke wau he nui a lehulehu hou aku, e like me Johnny Depp's debut in He Poʻomanaʻo ma ke alanui Elm ʻo kahi laʻana, akā nui paha kēia no kēia papa inoa e komo ai. Ma hope o nā mea āpau, pono mākou e mālama ia no ka hopena.